Dreams; Fantasies; Reality

I have come to decide that at most points in my life i would much rather be a character in one of the stories i write, i nstead of here in the real world. I find that my writing style tends to be opposite of my mood. No, I take that back. My style tends to lean mostly towards the negative. Though I can't fathom writing something with a terrible ending, I like to put a lot of drama, suspense and dissappointment in the middle. I mean, that's the only way a book is truly interesting, yes?

I have also decided that I could never write a character as amazing as any of the people I know in real life. Try as i might to model them after my closest friends, my characters just never give off the same charm as my friends. I don't know why. I assume it is because there is just a little something to each of my friends that i can't put my finger on, therefore i cannot create a character to model that. I aspire to be able to write such believable characters.

One other thing i have decided is that i hate books that are realistic. Like, really? I live life, and i find it to be pretty realistic. I don't want to read another story about someone who has a life similar to mine. Forget the fact that I can relate to them! I don't want to. I want to come across a character who has a cool power, or leads some exceptionally exciting life. Then you will have me intereted. I don't want to read my own life on paper. I want to read something cool; something so unrealistic i can't help but believe it; something i could never experience in a million years. I mean, that's the point of reading ins't it? To experience things you can't on you own.

How do people get by in life without friends? Like those kids that just sit alone at lunch? How do they manage? I could not survive a day without my friends. Like today, i was depressed. And one of my best friends spent all of lunch making stupid jokes and stuff just to cheer me up! Otherwise i wouldn't laid on the table and not moved, not even to go back to class. The fact that my friends care about me and love me is one of the single things that makes every day bearable. Because, to be honest, school does not do it for me.

Now, some current goals:

-Finish typing up the chapter of my book
-Begin writing the next chapter
-Wake up on time tomorrow
-Come up with a witty title for every blog entry i have
-Smile at someone i don't usually smile at tomorrow
-Laugh and get out of my terrible mood
-Cheer up, just in general.
-Get the next book so i can keep reading!!!!